Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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