I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
