another moral hangover. fuck.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
