apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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