Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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