Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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