So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
