If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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