Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
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