Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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