The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
