what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
