I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize