Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
