thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
