just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
