I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
