he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
