The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
