Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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