I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
