I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
kristin has been a bad kristin
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think I just shit out all my problems.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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