We named our party play list daddy issues
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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