He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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