It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
