Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
