just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
