She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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