Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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