I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
