he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
