i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
