you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
