I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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