words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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