So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
