My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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