i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I skipped work to stalk him.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize