Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
