i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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