Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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