Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
