I'm eating all of the evidence.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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