wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
