can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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