Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
