When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
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He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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