just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
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i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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