My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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