Got a toothbrush?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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