Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
