I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
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Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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