Got a toothbrush?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
