is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
