I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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